Overheard in my boyfriend's apartment

Joey: I think the crackheads are staring at my balls again."

I always think that the crackheads who live across the alley from my boyfriend's apartment are staring at my balls. In reality, they're smoking copious amounts of crack and watching Larry King reruns at all hours of the night.

I know that the social anthropologists in the reading audience are saying to themselves, "Joey, why do you walk around your boyfriend's apartment bare-assed naked?"

To which I respond, "I usually don't."

You see, I grew up in the hollers. We didn't have neighbors nudged up against us, let alone crackhead neighbors.

I'm still getting used to the idea of a set of peepers dissecting my every move.

It's just that these peepers watch Larry King reruns at 4am and have a crystal clear view of the BF's bathroom as I relieve myself and give the crackheads a little salute like, 'yeah, here's Larry King's halftime entertainment."

It's just weird.

I wish they didn't smoke so much crack.