Me: Did you have high school superlatives?
Boyfriend: We didn't have those.
Me: I won two high school superlatives.
Boyfriend: Uh—
Me: Most Unpredictable and Most Sophisticated. The last year of high school, I showed up to school everyday stoned off of my ass. I think it really took people by surprise.
Boyfriend: Nothing says Most Sophisticated like being stoned off your ass.
Me: I'm pretty sure that 'sophisticated' was a code word for 'gayest.'
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