Jesus, Don't Cry

Arena-gospel hokum and overlooped Christian ska. Two genres that should never appear in the same sentence.

Scenes from Edinburgh (Part Deux)

Breeder experimental circus composer Sxip Shirey.

I can't stop listening to this song

The blogzines jizzed all over themselves in late-2007 with the release of Black Kids' four-song demo, Wizard of Ahhhs. With Morrissey-style vocals and spazzy neo-retro synths, "I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You" is a slice of indie-pop opium. With their recent Columbia Records debut and Letterman appearance, expect the hipstertards to fall back on the 'ol "slutty capitalist sell-outs" mememe.

Ticky-tacky

I'm not sure whether I'm down with the new season of Weeds. Nerve.com's Remote Island seconds that emotion.

In the brilliantly constructed Season 3 capper–spoiler beef patties with narc sauce ahead!–yuppie drug lord Nancy Botwin doused her McMansion in gasoline and struck a match. In that single action, the finely tuned pasquinade of suburbia went up in flames. Yes Virginia, figuratively and literally.

At the moment, Botwin's slumming in the purgatory moors. She's on the run from the feds and herding weed-packed mules through a Mexican border-hopper version of the Underground Railroad. The whole shebang reminds me of Northern Exposure, but with a beach!

In other plot development points, Botwin's stacked stud muffin son (Hunter Parrish) has been receiving plenty of moments-in-mantittery lately:



This doesn't make up for the general suckage.

When Doves Cry

Dubbed the Paris Hilton of New York performance art, the nebbish post-modernist Neal Medlyn will be performing his Prince faux-concert "Unpronounceable Symbol" through July 20 at Performance Space 122.

In a strange way, Medlyn's lycra-bottomed interpretations have been mired in urbane fetishism among the gay elites. Instead of lapping the edges of a Dianabol-pumped beefcake, the gay elites swoon over Medlyn's yoga-toned arms.

It's called progress, I suppose.

In this clip, Medlyn re-enacts Beyonce Knowles' recent Staples Center concert.

I can't stop listening to this song

Santogold's "L.E.S. Artistes" is like The Hipster Handbook, but with throbbing handclaps and dripping sarcasm. Sometimes, I listen to this song without a trace of irony.

"It's true. New York City donkey-punches Nylon Taffeta Slim Fit-wearing nabes from suburbia," I sob.

If only Santi White asked me to appear in her hipper-than-thou vid. I would've danced my capri-fitted ass off.

The Manhattan Project Presents: This Day in Douchebaggery

This douchey voice message from disgraced doctor James Sears has been spreading throughout the Interwebs like a bad case of syphilis.

Jezebel brandishes the infection.

Radiohead: In Mist

Best YouTube Music Moments in 2007

YouTube killed the video star.

In 2007, while MTV plugged the umpteenth episode of "Parental Control" and the so-real-it's-fake tragicomedy,"The Hills," video sharing website YouTube raked in record numbers.

According to a Harris Interactive poll, 65 percent of American adults say they have watched a video on YouTube with 42 percent of the surveyed adults making regular treks to the site.

Major labels such as Warner Music inked a library-spanning content deal with YouTube this year, promising the site vids from the Warner vault. But the site's main selling point remained the guitar-strumming everyman and everywoman. These bleary-eyed rubes uploaded teary bedroom confessionals to an ever-growing legion of tubers.

In the spirit of giving, Manhattan Project has decided to dole out a few year-end awards to the best music moments on YouTube.

Best Deceptive Advertising By A Major Label
Hollywood Records' Marie Digby



Marie Digby's harmonically straightforward and cocksure cover of Rihanna's No. 1 hit, "Umbrella" raised a few eyebrows. It's raised almost 4 million eyebrows since its summer debut to be exact.

Framed in a lily-white bedroom, Digby plucks chords with a husker's ease. She's the girl next door, if your life resembled a Hollister advertisement. Call Digby "the Lonelygirl 15 of acoustic-pop."

In September, the Wall Street Journal suggested that Digby was a ploy in Hollywood Records' "astroturfing" campaign to deliver the singer to bigger masses through YouTube. In a blog entry, meanwhile, Digby wrote that the YouTube uploads were a response to a "desperate" lack of promotion from Hollywood Records.

Best Use Of Hand Flatulence
Gerry Phillips' cover of "Bohemian Rhapsody"



The manualism movement is worthy of a cover story in The Believer. Flanked by his hambones, internet "musician" Gerry Phillips was the unlikely YouTube celebrity of 2007 with his moist rendition of Queen classic, "Bohemian Rhapsody." In his fuzzy dark-blue sweat shirt and Hank Hill glasses, Phillips let it rip with a flawlessly spot-on take. In August, Jimmy Kimmel Live featured Phillips on the Internet Talent Showcase segment. Sadly, Hollywood Records wasn't behind this one.

Best Unintentionally Shameless Christmas Parody
The Kings College staff's Band Aid tribute



The Kings College staffers didn't intend to become YouTube sensations in 2007, per se. Their cynical take on the Bob Geldof's altruistic bombast anthem, "Do They Know It's Christmas" complete with mimicry of Bono's hubris, was like finding pixie sticks in our stockings come Christmas morning. It was completely unexpected and offered a satisfying jolt of energy.

Best Unintentionally Funny Performance
Fergie's appearance at Movie Rocks

Ya know ya did. If you've seen the Dutchess' nearly insufferable interpretation of Wings' "Live and Let Die" at Movie Rocks on YouTube, you're not alone. About 20,000 YouTubers watched the wretched four-minute clip, with Fergie's voice sounding like a cat suffering from a seizure. The song itself lurks from amped-up Slash guitar licks to drunken karaoke lounge singer ballads in the course of one measure. Fergie lags the background track, tossing off a thickly coated "Ya know ya did" a few seconds after the phrase is uttered by her backing vocalists. But all is forgiven in the name of the pyrotechnic gods who spray wisps of sparks to the irregular beat.